This is an interesting article from PsychCentral about how we grow up. Per Darius Cikanavicius, the author of several self help books, there are 4 reasons you grew up not feeling good enough including:
1. You were treated like you’re worthless or sub-human
2. You were held to unrealistic standards and falsely blamed
3. You were compared to others
4. You were taught to feel helplessness
These all lead to how we deal with our relationships in adulthood.