Many people come to counseling with money problems.
Financial stress is not usually the main problem in a relationship but often is a symptom or cause of a larger issue. Families, couples and individuals “feel the pain” in different ways. Couples will often complain that one partner is using money as a weapon against the other or controlling situations by withholding it. One family member may have a higher income or have control of the bills. Someone may be spending more than usual to make some type of statement or get revenge. Individuals may become depressed or hopeless when they are broke.
These tactics against loved ones are of course bound to create resentment and anger. Powerlessness is also a frequent feeling voiced. A woman may feel victimized or overpowered by lack of financial freedom or by her husband’s withholding of normal income. Men may feel shame over their inability to provide for their family. One partner may make more money but the other may be spending more.
Spending decisions often must change but patterns usually have been built up over years and may be seen by clients as difficult to break. Also complicating financial arrangements are tasks that may be “traded” for money, such as sex, control, house cleaning or child raising.
Simple but uncomfortable financial solutions usually exist but are frequently resisted by clients. These include budgeting more carefully, separating emotion from money, giving up control of finances to a partner, or changing spending patterns.
Don’t let financial stress ruin your family. For family and couples counseling, call us today at Becker Counseling for help 732-406-4422.