How Are Your Devices Hurting Your Relationships?

How Are Your Devices Hurting Your Relationships?


This topic comes up over and over with clients and I have heard many stories about phones, computers and tablets leading to affairs or other relationship problems. Maybe your significant other has possibly treated you badly online. Or vice versa. You may have been hurt publicly by an acquaintance in the online world. There are so many ways to use the internet to send or receive harmful content. Has it hurt you in some way?

You may not realize it but you could have a serious issue with the electronics in your life. Your devices may be controlling you or your life to some degree, regarding the amount of time you spend using it or the purpose you use it for. You may feel unable to put your device down or even use it a bit less.

But the real problem is the content you read or post. Maybe you have seen an uncomfortable message online about you by someone you care about. Or perhaps you have written something yourself that you regret. Possibly, a text or photo has caused you or someone else great pain. Regret is difficult to accept for most of us.

Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram posts are the main forums that are misused, but there are many ways of putting damaging, cruel, accusatory, inappropriate, or disloyal messages out there. Which has hurt you? Photos and video also can cause great harm. Think of a party you were not invited to but saw online. Or a revenge post someone put up. These can cause long lasting harm.

Most harmful in a therapeutic sense are the messages that disclose or lead to cheating/infidelity. This is one of the most difficult relationship dynamics to overcome in therapy. And devices almost always play a part. Facebook abuse alone is responsible for many cheating incidents as reported by the clients that have come in. Often it starts with searching for a relationship you had long ago. This turns into online flirting and so on.

Being stalked online can also be a dangerous problem and can be a sign of a larger threat. Online porn can intrude on healthy relationships or become an addiction.

So, be careful with your device. If it’s already a problem, therapy will help. Call Becker Counseling for an appointment and let’s discuss healthy ways to address how devices and technology are affecting your life and relationships. Call or Text 732.406.4422.