Relationship and Marriage Problems

SOMETIMES A MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP HITS HARD WATERS. YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF ARGUING ALL THE TIME OR MAYBE YOU FIND THAT YOU’RE DROWNING IN SILENCE. EITHER WAY, IT MAY BE TIME TO SEEK COUNSELING.

When couples are having conflict and come to counseling, they come in with varied problems. They may complain of infidelity, substance abuse, loss in the family/grieving, financial stress, domestic violence, intimacy problems, mental illness, or technology addiction. Maybe a recent event such as a death or financial change is the motivation for a couple to come in.

Relationship Problems

Each partner in a marriage frequently has a different view of the problem and comes in with their unique relationship history and complaints. Many partners are reluctant to come to therapy at all and often do not understand their own contribution the problem. Often the real underlying issue is not visible to the married couple in the beginning of therapy, but becomes apparent in subsequent sessions. This is normal. The real or hidden problem is often resisted by many clients when unearthed. Clients are often psychologically invested in their own perceived problem and are in such pain that they cannot see that there may be other factors at play in their conflict. Hopefully, they will be motivated to begin and continue counseling.

The therapist will work with you to form an accurate picture of the conflict and recommend helpful, healthy solutions.

Relationship Problems

ONE’S FAMILY HISTORY IS OFTEN RELEVANT TO THE CURRENT COUPLES’ CONFLICT.

The influence of a person’s biological family will be explored and often has an impact on current functioning. Mental illness may have occurred in a partner’s family and may affect their ability to contribute to a healthy relationship. Untreated mental illness is often a reason for the therapist to advise that the client see a physician for a medication consult. Talk therapy and medication are the optimal combination for mental health.

A person’s positive or negative experience in prior relationships often affects how partners view their current partner and dysfunctional patterns from the past may be repeated with the present person. This will be taken into account by the therapist.

With relation to intimacy – medical problems and substance abuse can also contribute to sexual dysfunction and referral to a doctor is often advised. Sex addiction is sometimes diagnosed and requires specialized treatment. Perhaps one partner has cheated on their spouse. This is naturally difficult for ongoing trust in a relationship but does not always result in a break-up, if the couple takes therapy seriously.

Counseling will also help marriages that suffer from technology addiction, which has increasingly caused severe relationship issues in our online world. This new threat to relationships can be helped in therapy. For instance, a person’s technology abuse is often a factor in infidelity and online pornography can lead to sexual dysfunction and harm to a healthy sex life.
Substance abuse is usually a long-standing contributor to strife but it often is hidden or minimized by one of the partners. If drug or alcohol abuse is discovered, the therapist may refer the client to a specialist in this area before marriage therapy can begin. An ongoing substance problem can greatly impair or delay progress in treatment.

Domestic violence problems also may be a reason for the therapist to refer the client to a specialist. These issues are often related to power and control or substance abuse in a couple. Safety is always a top concern in therapy.
Sometimes, money and financial stress is related to control and power problems in a couple and can lead to dysfunctional interactions and behaviors. Therapy can help a couple understand the reasons and possible solutions.

It any of the topics discussed above sound familiar, perhaps it’s time to seek therapy. Take the first step and call Becker Counseling today at 732.406.4422.

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