Raising teens can be tough on a marriage.

Raising teens can be tough on a marriage.

Teen children can be tough on a marriage

Teenage daughter ignoring her parent

If you are fortunate enough to have a teenage child in your home, there are many things to consider as a couple. Your marriage will be tested during these years but learning the following skills will help.

Flexibility, letting go, acceptance, humility, and patience are some of the concepts that will help you be successful with your teen child. Maybe you see a theme here. The teen years are challenging but interesting and sometimes satisfying times in a parent’s life.

Having gone through most of this stage of life, the writer has mastered the art of biting his tongue and keeping many thoughts to himself. Teen moods are erratic and often changing and parents must be adept at sensing this at all times. Your own moods will be tested.

Humility is needed to get through the frequent challenges to your and your partner’s authority. You may be told you are questionable as parents but you probably are not as inept as you are accused of being. You may even be doing a great job. It does not matter to your teen. Accept it.

Do not expect reason, understanding or empathy much of the time. The earth does appear to revolve around a teen in many families. Perhaps because you or your spouse have allowed that scenario to exist. Often, It’s just easier. This acceptance will help the marital relationship. Narcissism is developmentally appropriate. You get used to it.

You both must let go at some point and let your teen go to unsupervised parties, drive your car and hang out with the opposite sex in unknown places. You both probably have different tolerance levels. Yes, it’s all difficult and your spouse may be better at it, but you need to let these things occur. Learn to embrace them.

Finally, couples must be flexible, for instance, being prepared to drive your teen anywhere at any time. Or you may be asked to dispense cash like an ATM. Do not ask too many questions. Remember again that acceptance is crucial. Your marital happiness as parents depends partly on the success of embracing the above concepts.